What Have I Done?

It’s happened.  I have finally succumbed to the peer pressure and set up a Facebook page.  What have I done?  I am already regretting my decision.  I am a Twitter addict, tried and true.  I like the anonymity and the brevity of it all.  I actually receive useful writing information on Twitter.  There’s something to be said for that.  I’ve learned quite a bit about writers, rules and tricks of the trade.  That was my goal from the beginning. 

But now…now I’m looking at a page of gobbledy gooked comments all over the place.  There’s no organization.  There’s random updates of which I have no idea what they are.  I like order!  I would look at one person’s page and find they know someone else I might know so I keep going from page to page saying “I know this one!” and “Hey, I havent seen her in forever!”  What have I done?  I don’t want to open this door.  I don’t want to invite a flood of people I haven’t talked to in ages to chit chat about stuff I don’t care about.

Am I selfish?  Am I conceited?  Maybe I’ve turned into a hermit?  I’m not sure, but I feel like I’ve opened Pandora’s box with this stupid page and I just want to shut it.  I want to fill it full of concrete and lock it up tight and drop it to the bottom of the nearest river.  Is it too late to turn back?  I am really trying to convince myself that this was a good idea, but I can’t do it.  There is one person that I haven’t talked to in ages that I have been dying to talk to.  Maybe I can just send her my email address and then shut it all down.  I’ll shut it down and pretend like it never happened.  That sounds good, right?  No one will ever know? 

Right?

RIGHT?!?!

Crap…how did I get 24 friends already?

I Bet You Think This Blog is About You

We all want to be happy, right? Even the most miserable, self-pitying rogue just wants to have a good day.  I think we can all admit to that. 

With that said, I’d like to file a complaint…with the complainers.  When you spend your time defiling others, whining about what’s gone wrong in your life and basically lamenting endlessly, you will never be satisfied in life.  It is the truth and I’m sorry, but the truth might hurt today. 

Let’s first clarify the difference between complaining and explaining your situation.  It’s completely acceptable to ask friends for advice or bend their ear a bit when you are feeling down.  When you have a great support system, they don’t ever mind being there to help pick you up when you’re down.  I must confess, I have some intangible quality that often gives people the capability to tell me their secrets and woes quite freely.  To be clear, I love this about myself.  I will gladly provide advice or just a shoulder to cry on to any of my friends, or even complete strangers, no matter what the problem.  It gives me a sense of pride to know that I have helped someone I care about improve their outlook.  And for those of you that read this that qualify as one of these people, I adore you all and will always be here to listen.

However, those of you that can only pick apart every aspect of your life need much more assistance than I can provide.  To you, when it’s sunny out, it’s too hot.  When it’s raining, it’s too wet.  When someone brings you flowers, they are the wrong kind.  Murphy’s law is your daily motto.  When you go on Facebook you say what a lousy day you had.  If you see your friends, you tell them your job is horrendous.  You are probably to blame for the insensitive comments at the bottom of web articles that pick apart whomever the piece is about.  None of this is ever going to get you what you want.   

If you want to get out of that rut you are in, you are going to have to make big changes.  You have to start your day finding something good to notice.  It doesn’t matter how big or small it is.  Wear your favorite shirt.  Eat your favorite breakfast.  As the day goes on, find the good around you.  Compliment someone’s outfit.  Read a page of jokes instead of the news.  Listen to your favorite music to put you in a good mood, maybe some Carly Simon. 😉  Instead of publicly announcing your dissatisfaction with everything, be public about your appreciation.  If you can put the negative aside, you will be more likely to appreciate the positive.  And for the times that you need to talk about the negative, find a trusted friend to listen.  Having a one-on-one conversation can provide stress relief and the sense that things are not as awful as they seem.  Don’t forget to return the favor when they need someone, too.

Even when things seem abysmal, finding a silver lining is going to be the first step to turning it all around.  We all have bad days.  No one has a perfectly happy life.  I am not June Cleaver and I never will be.  And that is not a complaint.  I like my imperfect life.  And I am much better off appreciating what I have than whining about another pile of dishes to wash.

So, if you think this blog is about you…maybe it’s time to make some changes.

If Only He Knew

As school approaches and I ready my son for fifth grade, I think back to what life was like when I was in fifth grade.  The social realm really started to open up that year.  Liking boys and walking to the local Burger King with friends were top priority.  Cliques started to develop.  What you wore and how you looked started to be much more important than it ever had before.

I look my son and think, if only I could tell him.  His sweet, kind demeanor may be in for a shock this year.  I have already noticed the difference in the friends he hangs out with in the neighborhood.  We recently moved to a new home in January and he still feels a bit conflicted about which kids he wants to call friends.  It seems to me that he expects his “friends” to never say a bad word and be constantly knocking on the door for him to come out and play.  But, it doesn’t work that way, I tell him.

Sometimes they will say things to be hurtful.  Other days, you’ll be picked first to be on their football team.  I try to explain that so many friends will come and go over the years.  The best you can do is enjoy the fun and try not to take too much to heart.  Having a conversation with a 10 year old requires a short delivery if you want their full attention.  If only I could tell him all the great things I look back on now, and that I’ve forgotten the bad things. 

If only he knew all the things that I know now.  But then how would he ever learn it for himself?

My Twitter Addiction

I’m not quite sure how it happened.  I thought I would join to connect with some writers and find out what advice or information I could find that might help me with my writing.  First, it was a few tweets here and there.  Then it quickly became so much more.  With every passing day I am tweeting more, reading more tweets, retweeting, finding tweeps to follow.  It’s like I’ve suddenly fallen down the rabbit hole and now I’m chasing a blue bird to find out what is next. 

I have spent quite a bit of time on my home computer these past few weeks.  Time well spent looking into writing opportunities and job options.  However, because I am at the computer for so long, it gives me ample time to toggle back and forth between two windows, one, of course, occupied with a Twitter screen. 

As I sit and ponder how this addiction became so rampant, it was easy to see why.  I started with a purpose and when I found so many interesting people to follow, it spread like a shockwave to other topics.  I began following bloggers, celebrities, and sometimes even random people for no reason other than the fact that they might make me laugh.  There are also many resources to follow like news, charities, and even accounts that provide Green information. 

So, what does it all mean?  What purpose does it serve?  Well, for someone like me, who spends most of her day at home with the kids, it’s an incredibly easy way to reach out to people in a way that I never could before.  I can socialize in a whole new way without having to worry about the annoying “what do you do?” small talk.  I can find out the latest news and ways to contribute to charities.  I connect with people all over that I never would have had the chance to meet in person.  Incredible people that are thoughtful, funny and appreciative of the lives they lead.  These are the types of people that I always want to surround myself with, but can’t find at the local Target while I’m too busy shopping anyway.  If I like what they have to say, I follow them; if not, I unfollow.  It’s that simple.  There’s no getting-to-know-you interference.  If you want to know someone, read their tweets.  There’s no break up awkwardness.  When you no longer enjoy their rants or care what they are eating for breakfast, you push one button and ties are severed.  It is “Friendships for Dummies” in a whole new light.

Thank you, Twitter, for providing me with the easiest way ever to find, meet and converse with people I actually want to talk to.  Now if I could only find an “unfollow” button for some of the people I meet face to face.