We all want to be happy, right? Even the most miserable, self-pitying rogue just wants to have a good day. I think we can all admit to that.
With that said, I’d like to file a complaint…with the complainers. When you spend your time defiling others, whining about what’s gone wrong in your life and basically lamenting endlessly, you will never be satisfied in life. It is the truth and I’m sorry, but the truth might hurt today.
Let’s first clarify the difference between complaining and explaining your situation. It’s completely acceptable to ask friends for advice or bend their ear a bit when you are feeling down. When you have a great support system, they don’t ever mind being there to help pick you up when you’re down. I must confess, I have some intangible quality that often gives people the capability to tell me their secrets and woes quite freely. To be clear, I love this about myself. I will gladly provide advice or just a shoulder to cry on to any of my friends, or even complete strangers, no matter what the problem. It gives me a sense of pride to know that I have helped someone I care about improve their outlook. And for those of you that read this that qualify as one of these people, I adore you all and will always be here to listen.
However, those of you that can only pick apart every aspect of your life need much more assistance than I can provide. To you, when it’s sunny out, it’s too hot. When it’s raining, it’s too wet. When someone brings you flowers, they are the wrong kind. Murphy’s law is your daily motto. When you go on Facebook you say what a lousy day you had. If you see your friends, you tell them your job is horrendous. You are probably to blame for the insensitive comments at the bottom of web articles that pick apart whomever the piece is about. None of this is ever going to get you what you want.
If you want to get out of that rut you are in, you are going to have to make big changes. You have to start your day finding something good to notice. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is. Wear your favorite shirt. Eat your favorite breakfast. As the day goes on, find the good around you. Compliment someone’s outfit. Read a page of jokes instead of the news. Listen to your favorite music to put you in a good mood, maybe some Carly Simon. Instead of publicly announcing your dissatisfaction with everything, be public about your appreciation. If you can put the negative aside, you will be more likely to appreciate the positive. And for the times that you need to talk about the negative, find a trusted friend to listen. Having a one-on-one conversation can provide stress relief and the sense that things are not as awful as they seem. Don’t forget to return the favor when they need someone, too.
Even when things seem abysmal, finding a silver lining is going to be the first step to turning it all around. We all have bad days. No one has a perfectly happy life. I am not June Cleaver and I never will be. And that is not a complaint. I like my imperfect life. And I am much better off appreciating what I have than whining about another pile of dishes to wash.
So, if you think this blog is about you…maybe it’s time to make some changes.