However, the insanity that we designate as “the holiday season” always makes my life a tornado of activity and I forget what my daily routine used to be. So, when the new year has arrived and the gifts are put away, I take a look at what I need to do with myself. “Setting goals” sounds much more promising than “keeping resolutions” to me. And since I have already assigned myself to a path of self-improvement, adding some new goals doesn’t seem like such a chore.

This past year, I read 25 books. I decided that’s not enough. The amount of books I want to read is astronomically high. As in, I really hope I can read in the afterlife or I will never read them all. This year, 35 sounds pretty good. I’d like it to be higher, but I think being realistic is more important at this point.

Continuing my exercising and eating habits is in the plan, of course. I’ve been successful with it, so let’s keep that on the clipboard as a “to do”.

I think my biggest goal ahead of me is better time management. I’ve always been so good at it professionally. It’s one of my best attributes. I need to apply that talent to my everyday life at home. I get the important things done, but I don’t seem to allow enough time for the things I want to do. More reading, more writing, more blogging, more fun time with my kids…all of which I feel like I push to the side for things like dishes and laundry. Balance is important to maintaining happiness. Not just your happiness, but that of your family, too. The people around you will be better off if you are content with the life you are living. And who doesn’t want to make the people they love happy, right?

By the way, thanks for coming by again. I know I’ve neglected this page, but I’m thrilled to return and keep it up. I’ll keep coming back if you will. And while you’re here, let me know what your “anti-resolutions” are for the year.

Deal.

Moving on…

I’ve been trying to push the boundaries of my comfort zones in different aspects of my life. With any task, I can usually go only so far and pinball around in my own small space of familiarity. I ricochet off the same ideas over and over. But, how long before I hit TILT?

I’ve always fancied myself a bit of a chameleon. I take bits of what I see and know to help myself evolve. The problem is, I’m not finding my own way. When I recently started a project journal, I decided to stop allowing the lined pages confine me. I’m varying the size of my print, the margins and using words to carve pictures. For every little step across a line, I feel a little more liberated. And also a bit more inspired.

Creativity is something I always envy in others. Whether it’s writing, art, cooking, fashion, anything really. I’m always thinking, I wish I had that ingenuity. Now, I do think that this is not always a learned thing. Some people are just born with that door open. However, I don’t like limits and I do believe that you can be taught, conditioned, to a certain degree.

So this is my current self-improvement project. Pushing my boundaries. Letting my brain forget about common practices and finding what works for me. I’m hoping to pick up some forgotten art projects to give me a push in the right direction. That was actually one of my wants in a previous post. And as an update, numbers 2 through 7 I’m doing well with. I’m still working on 1 and 8.

Even if your goal is to write, exercising your mind in other areas helps you branch out. If I can pick up an old craft project, I can look at it and see how to make it better. I can dig in and clip here, add there. The same goes for my writing. Editing is like pruning the rose bush. Or adding a red stripe to that abstract painting. And the more I push my creativity, the better that final product is going to be.

*Please feel free to share how you boost your creativity in the comments. I’d love to hear your ideas!

The career of a writer is often an uncertain one.

Will I ever be published?

Will anyone buy my book?

Is it even worth the effort?

We ask ourselves a million questions and doubt ourselves a
million times. Rejection and criticism can hail down on the delicate surroundings
we’ve built with our words. It’s hard to stay motivated and focused when
there’s a cloud of doubt raining over your thoughts. So, let Ink Stains be your
umbrella.

With each author’s contribution, you’ll gain insight into
dealing with some of the most common worries that writers have. Questions you
may have posed to yourself, they have asked themselves already. Bumps in the
road? They have had the same ones to cross. Topics like the time spent on your
work, how to handle the criticism from editors, writer’s block and even how to
answer the ever-popular question “Am I a writer?” is addressed.

Each entry is told in a conversational tone, so it’s like
you are sitting with the author in a one-on-one interview. All of which are
easy to relate to because these are real people with the same problems every
writer has experienced. Whether you have already published, or this is the
first time you are putting pen to paper, this is a great read.

Ink Stains isn’t a tell-all novel with every tidbit about
writing you have ever wanted to know. It’s a quick read with honest opinions
and personal accounts from published authors. After reading it, you’ll feel a
renewed inspiration for your writings. But make sure you keep it on a nearby
shelf because picking this up every so often for a reread just might do wonders
for your progress.

So, Jana is someone I met
on Twitter who is so much like me that it scares us both. We are always
discovering new things that we have in common that are incredibly weird. To
give you an example of the creepy….my husband and I watched Limitless a few
nights ago and when I tweeted about it, I found out she and her husband were
watching it at the same time.

I love her blog, The Bee’s Knees and
apparently she loves mine because she was sweet enough to include me for the
Butterfly Award!

Ok, so, here are the rules:

1. Link back to the awesome person who gave you the award
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Answer the following questions below
4. Award this to 15 bloggers

Seven things about myself:

1) I can juggle

2) I’m a tea drinker. Nothing fancy, just a nice hot cup of Lipton tea. Sometimes black, sometimes
green.

3) I wish I could ride horses more often.

4) I love Philly sports. I grew up with 1 brother and 3 sisters and we all love sports.

5) I always wanted to have a weeping willow tree in my yard.

6) I’m nuts about movies. I want to watch them and have discussions about them. Old, new, good, crappy, it doesn’t matter.

7) I am a terrible swimmer.

Questions:

Name your favorite color-
Blue. And green. I love them both equally. Calming and beautiful.  

Name your favorite song-
All Along the Watchtower – Jimi Hendrix

Name your favorite dessert-
Ice cream. I love ice cream. Chocolate ice cream. Yes. That.

What wizzes you off-
Wizzes me off? Um, this is tough because if I give something enough thought, it
stops “wizzing” me off. I could say internet trolls that insist on
insulting everyone, but then after a while I just feel bad for them.  

When you’re upset you-

Take deep breaths. I’m
impulsive, so it’s best to keep myself occupied with breathing so I don’t swear
in front of the kids.  

Your favorite pet-
I love dogs. Maggie is a 6 year old black lab mix that we picked up from a
shelter. She is the sweetest, loviest, happiest thing EVAR. The cat came with
the husband and we have a love/hate relationship. Fish are stupid. I think I
covered that in a previous post.

Black or white-
I’m not really sure what I’m choosing here.  

Your biggest fear-
Heights. Heights give me panicky, dizzying fear. Also, heart palpitations.

Best feature-
My eyes. I’m not sure if I really like my eyes that much, or I’m choosing the
cop out answer.

Everyday attitude-
It changes daily. I like variety. Today could be “Persistence!” Tomorrow may be “Lethargy.”

What is perfection-
The fact that nothing is perfect.

Guilty pleasure-
Too much celebrity news. I try to stay away from the gossip, but really…isn’t it ALL gossip? I think I just gravitate to it because I always wanted to act. Maybe I derive some vicarious satisfaction from it.

Now I’m supposed to award this to 15 ah-mazing people, so, here goes:

Wendy

Crystal

Jennifer

Rusti

Adrienne

Jenn

Jen

JC

Debi

Kimberly

Kim

Carrie

Dana

Kelly

Natalie

So, there ya have it. Those are 15 of my favorite bloggers. Go check ‘em out,
you’ll love ‘em too! And thank you so much, Jana, for the award!

It. Was. Sublime.

I went thinking, I’m going to read and I’m going to write and be productive in the most awesome of ways!

But, I didn’t read…or write. I watched this:

So, mostly, all I did was admire. And think. And I thought, What the hell do I want? What am I doing?

This is what I came up with, so far, in no particular order or necessity:

1.) I want a job. An honest to goodness, pay me regularly and not scraping for work or hoping this gig will last kind of job.

2.) I want to improve my posture. What? There’s nothing wrong with that. My shoulders are always so tense…I need to push them down. I’m working on it.

3.) I want to make some stuff. Ok, maybe this one isn’t completely specific, but with my impulsiveness in mind, this could include crafting, drawing, painting, redecorating and/or papier mache. Well…not papier mache. You get it.

4.) I want to be healthier. This one I revisit frequently. I’m exercising. I’m eating better. I’m a work in progress. I feel motivated with this one.

5.) I want to learn Spanish. I know Spanish fairly well. I read it better than I speak it. I’d like to be able to speak it without thinking twice. My best guess is this will include a lot of verb conjugation for me to master. Maybe after that…Italian. Too ambitious?

6.) I want to kick Anxiety’s ass. ‘Nuff said. Prognosis looks good.

7.) I want to soak up as much as I can. Knowledge. Movies. Music. Life. The point here is to absorb, not just admire in passing.

8.) I want to be a guest on the late show with Craig Ferguson. Okay. I know. This is completely outlandish and pointless. Maybe it’s why I put it on the list. Maybe I need something so unreachable to keep my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground. People are famous for nothing these days…anything is possible, right? I just REALLY fancy an awkward pause. (If you don’t know what that means, I suggest you watch the show.)

There are my thoughts. Don’t worry, I don’t charge for them. Not even pennies. Feel free to comment with your own wants. It feels good to put them in print. It also helps you feel more encouraged to go out and get them.

So, did I do anything? Am I all talk and no walk?

Yes, I did and no, I’m not.

Wait…you get that, right?

I started with a movie. I took myself to the movies. I went to a matinee to see Hangover 2. There were about ten other people in the theater, so I got to stretch out and get comfortable. (I’d like to add that matinee is prime time because if you heard a whole theater laughing, you may have missed half of the jokes as they were layered in one after another.) While I usually bring my own snacks in my oversized purse….ssshhhh!…this time I bought myself a snack and drink there. Hey, if no one else is gonna splurge on me, why don’t I do it? I spent two hours in worry-free bliss, relaxing and laughing.

A few days later, I treated myself to some new summer clothes. Nothing extravagant, but a few bright colored things from Old Navy perked me up a bit.

This week, I took my kids to the local zoo. Not a big city zoo, but a local one where we can still walk around and enjoy the day outside. The kids had a great time and I was at ease allowing them to run around and watching them ooh and aah at every little creature.

Tuesday. Tuesday was a big day. I took my son to the Philadelphia Museum of Art. My quest to spend more time in the city has begun. A bit nervous on the drive in, we made it there with no problem. I only freaked out mildly when I found out I couldn’t park in the usual parking lot in front of the building.

WHERE DO I GO?!!

Street parking…ugh. We found a spot, and the bonus? I didn’t have to pay for parking. Score one for me.

And even though the residual effects of the stress tainted my stomach for the next two hours, I managed to suck it up and make the most of the day with my son. We strolled. We admired. We wondered. He received several compliments on his hat; he has a fedora he loves to wear. There’s something elating about seeing your child beam at random compliments. We even marveled at our favorite room…The Armor Room.

All in all, I think I’m on the right track. The past two weeks gave me a boost and I feel like some life has been breathed back into…well…my life. I’m definitely going to take myself to the movies more often. And finding things to do outside with the kids will be a priority, as well. There are a bunch of playgrounds nearby. Maybe that will be next week’s fun.

What are YOU doing to live a little more? Let me know!

I was lacking in inspiration last night, and a very cool Twitter friend, Jason, gave me a hand. We played a little word association game to help each other get some ideas going. And in the process, I ended up being inspired by inspiration. The ridiculous word combinations reminded me to have fun with my writing.

I also felt a little push to my outlook on my life, as well. I’ve been feeling like this summer is going to be a big deal for me. Like things are going to happen. Nothing grandiose, but maybe some serious change that will be for the better. I’m also vowing to be more of me. The girl that wants to enjoy what she does whether it’s working, being at home, or going out with friends. Or even by myself. I want to go into the city more…that would be Philadelphia. I realized it’s a shame that I’m not enjoying what the city has to offer when it’s so close. Maybe I’ll get over that whole “I hate driving in the city” thing.

I want to write more. I want to have a good balance of work coming in that will include jobs that allow me to use my personality to enhance my writing. I’d like to pick up a gig as an advice columnist. I give a lot of advice. And it’s usually well appreciated. I have an ability to talk to people and see a problem from every angle. Maybe even start my own advice page to see how it goes.

So, off into the wild blue yonder…errr…interwebs? I go! And then into the yonder stuff. I’m not waiting any longer.

So, I read it. AND, I loved it. And because Lara is so superfabulous, she offered to give away a copy of Donut Days to a commenter on my blog! *happy dance*

Now don’t go hopping straight down to comment! At least read what it’s about first…geez…you guys are so impatient.

Emma is an aspiring journalist hoping to win a scholarship from a local newspaper so she can attend a non-Christian university, which is against her parents’ wishes. The neighborhood debut of Crispy Dream, a popular donut shop chain, is the topic of her story, along with the people camping out for days in anticipation of its opening. However, the events that have been occurring in her parents’ church threaten to distract her away from everything she’s working for. While she’s spending time at the camp, her mother’s minister status is being questioned because of a supposed prophecy made by a member of the church. On top of it all, Emma’s best friend has turned on her and is now hanging out with the daughter of the man who made the prophecy that started it all.

Lara has created a novel that is easy to love. The major events are not your typical teenage problems, but they are framed by the common issues of friend betrayal, growing up and falling in love. The combination makes for a relatable, page turning story. The characters are well developed; it’s not hard to endear to Emma and her family within the first few pages. And with Emma narrating, you are placed in her shoes, feeling her frustration of what has happened. This is not an action packed book, but Lara keeps from lingering in one spot too long, which avoids any lulls in the story line. And when it comes to Emma’s love interest, it’s simple and promising. I loved every inch of this book. Every word and every page had my full attention. I’m sure you will, too.

Ok, NOW you can go comment! Leave me a comment and I will use a random number generator to pick the winner of the book on Friday, May 21.   

Just. Write.

So, I was in the mood. I needed to do something different. I recalled this little exercise and I wrote. Well, I typed. I typed for 10 minutes. It isn’t very long. I paused a few times…I’m out of practice.

*shrugs*

And this is what came of it. I didn’t edit because if I had done it with pen and paper as it should have been, I wouldn’t have done so:

When I watch a movie or show that has to do with art, artists or any art related topic, it goads me to inspiration. But, I don’t always know what to do with that inspiration. Ideas are suddenly bubbling in my brain and it stews, but it doesn’t always produce something useful. Unfortunately, I enjoy the random creative thoughts more than the organized sensible ones most of the time. I have this vision in my head of me having a room in the house where I spend creative time. I paint, draw, write, craft. I take photos or organize the ones I have. Grand waves of the things I could be doing with my time undulate in front of me. My arms reach out to orchestrate the projects in front of me. And yet, I’m not sure why I never get started. I feel like maybe I’m in limbo by being unemployed. The thought of not having a steady paycheck is jarring to me. It’s an earthquake that occasionally shakes me into reality. These ideas, these dreams…they will never come to fruition without money. I mean, where are we without money? We need money to live, eat, survive. I need the security of a scheduled paycheck to be sure that I can do the things that I want to do. Why do I feel like I have to suffer for the paycheck to enjoy my free time? Will I ever find a happy medium? Is there even a slight possibility that I will find a way to support my family and still love what I do. Still feel the passion for my work and wake up every morning excited about what comes next?

In the meantime, I’ve gained immense respect for freelance writers. There are numerous sites for writers to post their details and look for opportunities. I have been signing up on many, but it seems a full time job just keeping up with every page. I spend time hunting for jobs here. Then I look for more there. Check my email for responses to my inquiries. Hunt some more. Write some articles. Scour lists of needed articles. Edit, edit, edit. Check the email again. How do they find the time?!

I’m neglecting my blogs. I’m falling behind on all the reading I want to do.

Whoa! It’s time for dinner…find something to cook. Dishes, laundry. Buzz around the house to get some chores done.

I’m being productive!

Can I just go outside and enjoy some nice weather?!

The good news is, I’m learning a lot. I’m finding more opportunities and slowly crawling towards an actual career.

The bad news is…there is a very long road ahead of me. And I don’t have a fast car to get me there any quicker.

And so….I perservere.