New Changes

For quite some time, I have been working on ways to relieve some stress in my life and quell the anxiety that has rattled me since being laid off. I don’t like not having a plan. I don’t like not knowing what’s going to happen with the bills. I’m the kind of person that needs to have a plan and a back up plan and it seems that all that has gone out the window.

Recently, I blogged about an accident that totaled my car. And without a job and bills piling up, the stress was beginning to suffocate me.

Then, a temporary job came along. And just like all the other times that we were almost in trouble, something came along to help. Maybe not solve the problem entirely, but enough to get us through to the next moment.

In all this chaos, I’m starting to feel a strange calm under the worry. The kind of calm that tells me that even though things aren’t how I planned, things will work out. It will get better. It’s been a long time since that feeling has surfaced. I’m wondering if I can keep it around.

When I was a teenager, I loved not knowing what would come next. I loved not having a plan and making last minute decisions. Worry never crossed my mind when I didn’t have enough money to fill up my gas tank. I don’t ever expect to get back to that feeling, but I would like to remind myself that the worrying is pointless. It only hinders the attempt to achieve a goal.

We do what we can do. We try our best. We may not always get the turnout we are looking for, but we keep moving and we keep working. Everything is temporary. Everything is always changing. If you let worrying slow you down, you’ll never get where you’re going.

 

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lara Zielin
    Jul 18, 2012 @ 05:17:52

    I can so totally relate to this! Do you remember that line in Say Anything where Lloyd tells his sister, and I’m paraphrasing, “decide to be happy and then just be happy.” I think about that when I don’t want my emotions to rule the day. Would that it was that easy. But how I feel can’t always be what sets the course. Anyway. That’s all to say I super duper get what you’re saying. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

  2. Michelle
    Jul 18, 2012 @ 06:33:44

    I seem to have myself in the same predicament, and have somehow been holding a calm presence when the territory of the unknown is just only beginning. I am a self employed daycare provider, and this week is officially my last week of work. We are expecting our second baby girl next Friday… and we are still waiting for my spouse’s unemployment check to come as he lost his job two months ago. Bills keep stacking up, and as luck would have it, it seems that now that there is no cash flow everything goes wrong. I see it as only a temporary problem, and have faith that everything will work itself out. I’ve spent more time writing, which I had put on the back burner for years, and am working my way through a creative journey with a 12 week self improvement course with ‘Julia Cameron’s’ book called ‘The Artist’s Way.’ I highly recommend it, if you have never heard of it.

    Keep your head held high, and never let the worry/anxiety get the best of you. Wishing you the best of luck!

    Reply

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